Christmas traditions (Goins family edition)

The Goinses are Christmas Eve people. This worked out really great for me when Jason and I got married, because we spend Christmas Eve with his family and Christmas Day with mine. We don't have to travel the state all in one day. Usually we will go to his parents' house about lunchtime and spend some time with them. We exchange presents with them in the afternoon, and ever since Jackson came along, the kids get all their grandma/granddaddy loot. They are very generous to their three grandchildren.

The Goins family Christmas gathering starts at 5:00 in Stoneville, so we leave Walnut Cove about 4:30...in theory at least! The long-standing tradition is to have Christmas in the basement of his grandparents' house. When his grandparents were living, the basement was perpetually decorated for Chrismas complete with red and white stockings with everyone's names written on them and secured to the brick fireplace. (When I married in, I got my own stocking) A few years ago, we moved the celebration to main level of the house, but this year, we were back to our roots in the basement.

After a round of hugs and "Merry Christmas! Your kids are getting so big! It's so good to see you!", then we have prayer and dig in to our potluck dinner. After dinner, Jason's uncle Shannon reads the Christmas story out of Luke and gives his Christmas message. Every year it gets harder to hear over the growing number of small children running around! This was a tradition started by Jason's grandfather Alford who was a Pentecostal preacher. I got to experience Alford's message only once when Jason and I were dating, but tragically, Alford died only a few months after we were married. Shannon has taken up that mantle ever since.

After the message, we open presents. We draw names with this group, so everyone gets a gift. Then we play a good game of dirty Santa. Everyone who wants to play brings a gift valued at $5 or less. Jason's family makes this game really funny. The gifts range from practical (Crest Spinbrush) to practical joke (this year...a fart scented candle). We have gotten a lot of laughs in the past with a towel labeled "face" on one end and "butt" on the other, "Hot Stuff" flaming boxers that Jason ended up with one year, and a few things that probably wouldn't be appropriate to mention on a public blog! This year I got a roll of toilet paper, and Jason got some ShamWows.

Breaking traditions

A Goins family tradition that Jason grew up with was the annual UNO game. This was no civilized card game. It was riddled with lies, cheating, and cold-hearted betrayal. For some reason this tradition was abandoned about 6 or 7 years ago, probably when all the grandkids started having kids of their own and couldn't concentrate on the game anymore....or had to leave to get the kids in bed...or didn't want to model such deception for the next generation. I'm not entirely sure of the reason, but it is a tradition that was broken.

Another "broken tradition" this year, was that Michael (Jason's brother), Amanda, and 7-month-old Allie made the 10-hour trek from Alabama to spend Christmas with us this year. They aren't usually able to come for Christmas, so it was SUCH a treat for them to come this year. Grandma and Granddaddy were especially happy to see their youngest grandchild and get some quality cuddle time in. Allie is such a good-natured baby and went along very agreeably with all the traveling, visiting strangers, and keeping crazy schedules. We hate that Jackson's nasty stomach virus and a very busy schedule prevented the kids and I from visiting with them when they arrived, but we tried to make up for it later in the week. We cherished every moment with them, knowing that as Allie grows, they will probably want to be home at Christmas.

So, that's it...another Goins family Christmas in the books.

SNOW!

It was such a wonderful surprise to have snow in December! And not just a dusting, but a good several inches! I know there are always people who begrudge the snow because it ruins their travel plans or makes it difficult for them to get to their jobs. But in my non-traveling, non-working opinion, the snow could not have come at a better time than the Friday afternoon before Christmas. Jackson's school got out early (fun!), so we came home and watched the snow fall while listening to Christmas music. What a great way to get in the Christmas spirit! Jason had his office Christmas party at lunch and then went to see a movie with some of his co-workers. After Selah got up from her nap, both Jackson and Selah were glued to the window and begging to go out. I figured it was better to give in to their requests and let them out the door safely before they used their united sibling power to burst through the window.

After we came back in, things went downhill a little. It seemed that they were getting into everything I didn't want them in. Jackson got bored. (Why can't I be one of those moms that thinks of cute snow crafts to do on the fly?) Selah was oscillating between making huge messes and being fussy. While I was cleaning up one mess, she would make another. I was trying to get just a few things done (and trying to clean up all of Selah's messes), and all I could think about was that Jason was having leisure time at the movies. Was it possible to be stir crazy after 4 hours of snowfall? Jackson took a picture of me while I was trying cure Selah's fussiness with an early dinner. The look on my face says it all:

Ooo, that frown is going to cause wrinkles! It was strange. I mean, on a normal day Jason wouldn't have been home from work anyway and we probably wouldn't be playing outside at that time. I'm not sure why the snow made it different, but I was certainly glad when Jason finally made it home. We let Jackson stay up late watching Frosty the Snowman and Frosty Returns...how appropriate.

Saturday morning everything was covered with snow! I love how everything looks when it's covered with undisturbed smooth snow. BUT, it can't stay undisturbed for long! After going through the 30-minute process of getting the kids dressed in fourteen layers and gooping Aquaphor on their faces, we walked down to our neighbor's house because (a) they have two kids for Jackson to play with, (b) they are incredibly creative and were using bread pans to make snowbricks for a snowfort when we got there, and (c) they had a sled. The kids had a great time playing with, eating, and making weapons out of the snow. In the afternoon, we were forced to stay home (so rare for us on a Saturday), so we made homemade chocolate chip cookies and watched a Christmas movie. It was wonderful! Thanks for the nice surprise, God!

"more" than "no"

Selah has had a real breakthrough in her language in the past few weeks. She has suddenly added a slew of words to her vocabulary! It is thrilling to hear new words from her and even new sounds in her babble almost daily now! Just last week, she added a really cute phrase "are you?" (translation: where are you?) She will wander through the house asking "daddy, are you?" Previously her verbal repetoire was limited to daddy, doggie (sounds just like daddy), Jackson (also sounds just like daddy), mama (rarely spoken, mostly my presence or attention is requested through whining), and bye-bye (only spoken when the person you're trying to get her to say it to actually gives up on her ever saying it and leaves). Now I can barely keep track of all the things she says: juice, cracker, eat-eat, baby, thank you, gone-gone...the list goes on! Of course, I may be the only one who can understand her, but she's definitely communicating. Only a mother would know the very subtle differences between ma-ma (mom) and ma-ma (Mickey Mouse). Maybe you don't get why this is such a big thing for me. Let me tell you what the last few months have been like at our house.

About the time that Selah turned a year old, she learned a few signs, including the sign for "more." I was so so excited, because now she could communicate with me! Selah also began to think of the "more" sign as "I want...." For example, she might bring me something that she wants me to open and sign "more" meaning "could you open this for me, please, because I want it." So, she was CONSTANTLY signing "more" because she always wants somthing! More mommy, more book (another story), more choo-choo rides, more this, more that. This was the extent of our communication until about a month later, she learned how to shake her head "no." Good, right? More communication. UNTIL...she learned the leathal combination of "more" and "no." Typical scenario: Selah would sign "more," I would guess at what she wanted more of, she would shake her head no and repeat the "more" sign, I would make another guess....etc. At mealtimes she would actually dictate which order she wanted her bites of food:
Selah: more
Me: more sweet potatoes?
Selah: no
Me: more yogurt?
yogurt accepted
Selah: more
Me: more yogurt?
Selah: no
Me: more sweet potatoes?
sweet potatoes accepted

We would finally get through lunch and then go through the same routine when choosing a book to read at naptime. Who knew a 14-month old could be that discriminating? So, I am so relieved to be moving past the days of "more" and "no." I welcome all this new vocab, and am axiously awaiting the day I hear "yes."

Lunch dates

Last Thursday Jason called me at about 10:30 and asked me to lunch! I love it when he does this! We never plan lunch dates. He's so busy during the day and always has several lunch meetings (either law business or church business) scheduled each week. He also likes to go to lunch with his fellow attorneys occasionally, too, just to socialize. We each have an "eating out" budget for the week. I typically save mine for busy weeknights when I don't want to cook (or haven't gone to the grocery store) or to take us all out as a family on the weekends. If you peeped in my window at lunchtime during the week, you could probably catch me eating PB&J while standing up or perhaps stealing bites of Selah's food while feeding her. So, to go to a restaurant for lunch is such a treat! Plus, it's a mini-date for Jason and me when we're overdue for a real date night. As long a we keep pushing bits of food Selah's way for her to feed herself, she's pretty content, and we can get in some grown-up talk. Sometimes we talk about church stuff or how our days have been. Sometimes we talk about the kids or debate something really stupid.

It's stuff like this that keeps our marriage strong. We started planning for this church two years ago, right about the time that I got pregnant with Selah. Our lives have been whirlwinds ever since. I told Jason recently that I was so thankful that our marriage has not suffered or weakened during this time. In fact, I think it is stronger. We are working as a team towards common goals. There are a lot of marriages that would not have survived the challenges we've faced in the last 2 years. I really think that God has supernaturally protected our marriage. It takes work supporting each other and compromising for each other, but it is worth it!

I cherish those lunch dates and all the other tiny, creative (inexpensive) things we can do to keep our marriage ticking.