This is one for the books!

Today Jason and I managed to wreck 4 cars and destroy our garage wall in a period of about 15 minutes. I only wish I was kidding!


It all started when I was on my way to work at my old job because they needed extra help today. I was sitting at a stoplight between I-40 and Stratford Road when my friend who was going to be babysitting for us today let me know that she was on her way to my house, but running a little behind (ironically hit some slow traffic due to an accident). I was trying to call Jason to relay this information to him since he was waiting for her with the kids. The car in front of me pulled forward. I thought the light must have turned green (I couldn't see the light) and started pulling forward too. The car in front of me stopped, but I didn't. I smashed my front bumper into the car's trailer hitch. Crap. I got out to survey the damage, and thankfully there was not much to see. My car had some minor damage to the bumper and I couldn't see any damage to her car. We decided to call the police to fill out an accident report. Great, now I'm running behind. Oh yeah, I forgot I needed to call Jason. I called him and told him everything that had happened. No big deal, but still sucks. Now I'm just waiting on the police to arrive.


WHILE I'M WAITING, Jason calls me back and says, "You have to come home NOW." My first thought is, "Oh no, Jackson is throwing up again or maybe Selah is throwing up now." Jackson threw up during the second church service yesterday and continued throwing up all day until 10pm. He was feeling better this morning, but staying home from school. "Why?" I asked. "I just backed into Jennifer's car. Then when I was pulling forward into the garage I hit the gas instead of the brake and smashed my car into our garage wall. I hit the freezer and pushed it through the wall." So I.....


How would you react? This is so unbelievably disastrous. I mean we've only had Jason's car about 2 months. It has just over 1,000 miles on it.


I burst into laughter. Even though it IS terrible, it's like what are the odds? So I came home to this:


Looks like Santa might be bring Jackson a new bike for Christmas!

It took a while just to report our 3 separate insurance claims (two car claims and one home owner's claim).


Two other side notes. I am battling an upper respiratory infection, taking antibiotics and a prescription cough med that is NOT working. My dad was also in the hospital all weekend trying to get his heart back in rhythm. Thankfully, he is better now and will probably go home tomorrow. Wow....what a weekend.


In the end, it's all okay. The cars, the house, it's all just stuff. We are all safe and (relatively) healthy. Yeah, the day kind of sucked, but God is faithful. He is our source, our comfort, our sustainer, and our healer. I'm looking forward to tomorrow because, chances are, it's going to be better than today!


I'm tired. My neck hurts. And my antibiotic is upsetting my stomach. I'm going to bed.

Updates

Oh, blog, you have been so neglected the past 2 months! I have been so busy using every kid-free moment preparing for my weekly bible study that I was teaching and getting continuing education credits to maintain my ACRP certification. But, alas, we meet again!

Jackson has been doing well with school. He has made 4 friends that I hear about regularly: Jonathon and Janae (twins), Anshu, and Nicholas (who is reportedly "very quiet". I think it's possible that English is his second language, but I'm not sure. It's funny only getting your information from a 4-year-old and trying to piece together what the truth actually is! I can't wait to get in his class to volunteer so I can see for myself what he's doing and meet his friends). I've been working with him on reading a lot. He's starting to sound out 3-letter words. It's so exciting to see the light bulb come on for him! He is totally shocked with himself when he figures out the word. He has little patience for it, though, so I have to catch him in a moment that he's in the mood for it, and even then I know I only have about 5 minutes. Right now, that's enough. I'm just trying to introduce the concept of sounding out words, but mostly just maintain his love for books. The TV passes are still working well for controlling the TV time.

Selah has been sick for about a week and a half. Just a cold, but babies are so pitiful when they're sick. She has been sleeping through the night 7:30pm - about 6:30am consistently ever since we got home from Alabama...about a month now! I completely finished nursing her the day we came back from Alabama, and I think that's what did it...who knew?!? Although, since she has been sick she has not been napping well. Of course, maybe it's not the cold. Maybe she's shortening her morning nap getting ready to transition to only one nap a day. Time will tell. The biggest hassle with her being sick is her clingy-ness. She has been acting a lot like the Sharpie baby lately. However, I will say that her almost constant begging for me to hold her really makes me appreciate the rare moments that she does play independently. She likes to occupy herself with pulling all the Tupperware out of my drawers or the box of extra bottles, sippy cups, spoons, and other baby supplies out of my cabinet. Today I sat in the kitchen floor with her while she carefully put baby spoons in a bottle and then dumped them out, only to start over again. It was cute and actually quite soothing!

Halloween was so much fun this year! Jackson dressed as Captain America, and Selah was an adorable pumpkin! We carved two pumpkins. Jackson insisted that they be scary this year and not funny. We had a blast trick-or-treating in our neighborhood with our friends Jennifer and Jon and their kids, Malcolm (Buzz Lightyear) and Anna Claire (Ariel - perfect for this red-headed girl!), who are the same age as our kids.

The newest addition to our house has caused quite a stir! We got a "playground", as Jackson says. We have a friend who moved into a house recently, and the previous owners left a great swingset behind. Since she had no use for it, she told us that if we hauled it, we could have it! Jackson and Selah have both loved it. It even has a tiny picnic table under the slide! We've had neighborhood boys to our house the last 2 days to enjoy it, too. Yesterday, Jackson got to play with our neighbor, Carter, who is a sports fanatic. This kid is very athletic at only 5 years old. He lives sports...he even watches ESPN faithfully, and actually understands it all! They played football in the yard yesterday, and it was so cute to see them tackling each other and wrestling. Carter said that I had to be the ref and "peel them apart" when they both piled on a fumbled ball to determine who had possession. Every once in a while he would say "OK, ref, this is another peeling situation." =) I was thinking, "Jason will be so glad that when he gets home from work today that Jackson already got the wrestling out of his system!" Poor Jason gets attacked as soon as he walks in the door every evening. Mommy just can't play rough like Daddy does! Little boys just need other little boys to play with!

Getting this awesome "playground" for free made me thank God for all the ways he has blessed us. I started looking around our house and realizing how much stuff we have that was either a gift or a hand-me-down. I'm going to get on my soap-box for a minute and say how much I love used stuff! It is both environmentally and financially responsible to buy/be given used stuff. Half of my closet is stuff that someone outgrew or got tired of a gave to me. I buy most of my kids' stuff at consignment sales. I recently got all this stuff at a sale for $132.

The carseat alone would have been $100 brand new. Honestly, when did the "American way" become spending all our resources to get brand-new stuff? People throw away perfectly good things not because they're broken or unusable, but because they're tired of them! I don't think that's the way America started. We're filling our landfills and going into debt over boredom! We're obsessed with clean, crisp, new packaging without flaws or dents. I'm not immune to the allure of new stuff, and I certainly fall into the trap often enough (i.e. we just bought a brand new car after sinking an exorbitant amount of money into our used, piece-of-junk Jeep in the last year). But the never-ending obsession with it is toxic. If you think about it, the "I like things to look beautiful and new" philosophy not only gets us into debt and wrecks our enviroment (as I mentioned above), but it also pervades the way we treat people. We like them to look new and bright and shiny. Without flaws or dents. We cast them aside when they're a little broken. Why else to actresses and models struggle to get jobs as they age and rush to surgical procedures and extreme treatments just to maintain their "shiny-ness"? I was thinking about the inscription on the Statue of Liberty recently: "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door." It never said "give me your beautiful best." So, for me, I say give me the wretched refuse of your teeming closet! You can call me cheap, but I'm a proud used-stuff-wearing, recycling, hand-me-down using, consigment-store-shopping, and coupon-clipping queen! Now I will step off my soap box.

home SWEET HOME from ALABAMA

This weekend we packed up and drove 10 hours to Mobile, Alabama to see Michael (Jason's brother), Amanda, and Allie. Allie is 4 months old, and this was our first opportunity to meet her. She is so cute, and sweet, and cuddly, and happy, and beautiful!!! I could go on and on, but I'll try to stop myself. Jason, Jackson and I left on Wednesday night and drove through the night to get there. Jerome and Donna (Jason's parents) flew down on Thursday morning and brought Selah with them. Thank God that airlines will still allow kids to fly for free under 2 years old! I was so thankful not to have to worry about making the drive with Selah. Jackson slept most of the way there, which was the plan. The only hitch with that plan was on Thursday morning at 7am, Jackson was up and at 'em like normal. Jason and I were still zombies. Somehow we made it through the day fueled by baby love, family love, and caffiene.

Selah met Allie for the first time at the airport. I love babies! They're just so cute!

We had a great weekend, mostly just hanging out with each other. Amanda's sister, Aundrea, who just happens to live next door, graciously allowed our family to invade her house. It's rare to go on vacation and have a whole house to yourself! (without paying a pretty penny for it!) The kids were out of their normal routine and were certainly worn out. Here's evidence: on the way home from dinner one night, they both crashed hard!

Sunday was Allie's baby dedication at the church where Michael and Amanda minister. Allie looked like a princess from her teeny tiny baby slip down to her ruffly socks and white shoes. Even her bloomers were monogrammed! Unfortunately the dedication occurred while Selah should have been taking a nap, and she was unwilling to sit quietly through the reverent ceremony. We had to peer through the little window in the door at the back of the church and attempt to read the lips of the pastor. It was a beautiful dedication complete with suprise reading of a poem that Amanda's father (who passed away about a year and a half ago) wrote many years ago for this occassion. It was very special.

We drove home Sunday afternoon and got back to High Point at 2am. Tired does not begin to describe how we all felt on Monday morning. I felt the most sorry for Jackson for having to go to school. Jason and I both worked on Monday (I've been helping out at my old job a couple of days a week the past few weeks during their busy season). I think we've all caught up on our rest now and we're feeling much better.

Ewww....that's gross!

Today, Selah and I went to the grocery store. She got fussy about half-way through, so I gave her a bag of pecans (unopened) to chew on to keep her busy. Naturally, she got bored with it two minutes later and the bag (thankfully) ended up in the cart. I didn't even notice, because she was fairly happy for the rest of the shopping trip. When we got to the checkout I noticed the cashier struggling to straighten out the crumpled bag to scan the barcode. Once it scanned she wiped her hands on her Harris Teeter uniform. Immediately my mind flew to the image of my sweet one with the bag in her mouth. I decided to 'fess up. Here was our conversation:

Me: "Oooo, I'm so sorry. I should have wiped that off."

Her (a little puzzled): "Yeah, it had something wet on it."

Me (apologetically): "Hmmm. Maybe I shouldn't tell you what it was. I don't know if you would want to know or not, but I was letting my daughter chew on that to keep her happy."

Her (trying to hide that she's grossed out): "Oh (nervous laughter). Yeah, it was a little slimy like the stuff that's sometimes on the outside of a package of chicken."

Me (relieved): "Oh, well there you go! At least it wasn't as gross as raw chicken juice on your hands!" I could tell she was actually trying to weigh which would be more gross: raw chicken liquid or baby's spit.

Her (imagining herself in a few years, and wondering if she really wanted kids) "Wow, I can't wait to have a baby and have its spit on me."

I coudn't help but laugh when I left the grocery store. Not at her, at me. How far I've come from the time I was in her shoes. The time that I thought baby spit was gross. I remember an article that I read when Jackson was a baby (and I had the time and inclination to read parenting articles for fun) in which a mom was talking about her transition from being a total germaphobe to casually, almost absently-mindedly saying to her kids, "Will you please stop licking the cat?" It's so true! I think when you give birth (and I do count c-sections as "giving birth") a lot of things change. One of those things is your gross-o-meter gets shifted. I always wondered how my mom could do stuff like clean up my puke off our van's dashboard when I got carsick. Now I know the secret: she had no choice! What was she going to do? Leave it there until it dried up and blew away? When something gross happens (I find a booger wiped in an odd place or a streak of poop on the tub from where Jackson didn't wipe well enough and then leaned against the tub while pulling up his underwear), I usually just shrug and get to cleaning. There's no use in making a big fuss for no one but God to see. Just bite the bullet and move on. I still don't look forward to Selah smearing her slobbery hand all over my face, but it takes a lot to really repulse me. I love my kids, and everything that goes with them!

Remnants of My Weekend

This morning when I walked into my kitchen I thought, "What a mess." Not just the kitchen, but the whole house. As I scanned the clutter, though, I couldn't help but see it as a sign of a great weekend. (Actually this is probably just my way of justifying the mess!) There were little reminders of our holiday weekend left here and there perhaps to ease the pain of getting back to the grind. I have joked about stay-at-home moms not getting holidays, and in a lot of ways a holiday like Labor Day just seems like another day to me. But the one difference is Jason doesn't have to work. It's rare for us all to spend the day together, even on weekends, so having him home for 4 days was a very special treat!

Back to the clutter....the first thing I saw on the kitchen counter was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figurine (Raphael to be specific). On Thursday night, Jason took Jackson to see the TMNT movie. Yes, the OLD one. A group of people were showing it in a theater in Greensboro, and a colleague of Jason's had given him tickets. Jackson had a great time, and even got to meet Raphael! Since then he has been wanting me to pretend to be all the TMNT characters (sometimes all at the same time) all weekend.

Laying next to Raphael were Jackson's goggles. Yesterday, we made one last trip to the swimming pool for the summer. The mild temperatures made being outside very comfortable....unless you wanted to swim! We were all kind of chilly in the outdoor pool, and finally after about 20 minutes decided to pool hop over to the heated indoor pool. I can't believe the strides Jackson has made towards swimming this summer. Next summer I think he will really be a good swimmer! It also surprises me how Selah loves the water. She is not afraid of getting water in her face, and loves to splash. Yesterday, she was even blowing bubbles in the water. It was so cute!

In the living room I stepped over a piece of construction paper with a list of names. Jackson's friend Jadyn, who just started kindergarten, was playing teacher on Sunday and writing everyone's name on the paper. After church several of our good friends came to hang out and have lunch while "the boys," including Jason, played basketball. I think there were 6 adults and 6 kids! It was really fun to hang out on a Sunday afternoon like the old days. Jadyn, Jentezen, and Jackson played so well together, even without naps!

When we got in the car to take Jackson to school, there was more clutter! Among sandals, toys, and reusable grocery bags, I spotted Jackson's soccer ball in the backseat. Last night Jason took Jackson and Selah to Jackson's soccer practice while I was teaching bible study. Jackson started soccer last week, and so far is liking it! I got to take him to his first practice on a Saturday, and I was amazed at how well he did! Much better than tee ball! I guess this game doesn't take quite as much focus (at least at the 4-year-old level) as tee ball. There's not as much down time, which is very good for little ones that are so easily distracted. I don't get to go to his practices on Monday nights, so I'm eagerly awaiting this weekend when his Saturday morning games begin.

Wait a minute...did I say school? Yes, Jackson started pre-K for real today. Last Tuesday he went for one day, but today he started full-time. So far, I think he's doing okay. There haven't been any tears about going to school, but I can tell he's not thrilled about the idea. When I picked him up after his first day he told me, "Mom, I was getting nervouser and nervouser and I really wanted my Mommy." But the part that broke my heart is that he didn't tell his teacher or any of his classmates that he was scared. It is so painful watching your 4-year-old try to be a "big boy". My natural instinct is to protect him from all pain and discomfort - shield him from stress. But in order for him to grow up I have to let him experience a certain amount of discomfort. This feels like having my heart ripped out of my chest. I had this same feeling when he got 3 shots this year at his 4-year-old checkup. He didn't cry at all, even though I could tell he wanted to. By his report he was "so brave." I was so proud of him for being brave, but it would have been a lot easier on me if he had just cried. I wanted to comfort him; that's my job! To know that he was nervous, scared, or uncomfortable at school but he wouldn't let anyone know so they could comfort him was just heartbreaking for me. In fact, after I had drilled him and asked him three thousand questions about his day, I came to the conclusion that he was pretty lonely all day. I just wanted to cry. Good thing we didn't have to go back for a week. Today when I walked him in, I introduced him to a kid that was in his 2-year-old class at daycare. (I had remembered the child, but Jackson didn't, since they were not in the same 3-year-old class.) I told him that maybe they could play together and be friends today. When I picked him up today he seems more excited and happy about his day. He's still not thrilled about having to go back tomorrow, but I think we're on the right track. I really think that if he can make some friends (and he will in time, I know), he will like school. Right now, I'm just taking it day by day. I'm questioning whether this pre-K thing was the right decision or not. Only time will tell.

As always, this weekend, there was plenty of church stuff going on. Even though Jason took Friday off, he spent all afternoon filming videos for church. Saturday morning he went to the men's networking breakfast and then went to move everything off our church's moving truck into a storage building since we sold the truck. He came home for lunch, and after lunch we went to clean the church, kids in tow. I am very happy to report that we got through the cleaning without Selah ingesting any poisonous cleaning solutions or getting electrocuted by chewing through the vacuum cord! Also, Jackson did not break anything in the auditorium on stage while playing out his TMNT scene! Starting a church when you have young children is really hard! Our kids are really troopers to endure all the stuff that goes along with it! I already said that Monday night I was teaching bible study while Jason took both kids to soccer. Tonight, Jason came home just long enough to eat supper and then he was off to his weekly creative team meeting. He left that meeting and went to HPU's Campus Crusade for Christ meeting. He got home at 10pm. Tomorrow night, I have band practice, so he'll be here with the kids. Is there any wonder why our yard is never mowed? I really don't think people get it. I don't think most people understand the amount of work that goes into starting a church. I haven't even mentioned the time Jason spends on writing sermons, preparing to speak, tweaking the church budget, counseling with people on the phone...the list goes on and on! All of this on top of his full-time job. This is why our family time together is so precious.

I didn't mean to make this entry so long, but I really wanted to document our weekend as well as some of the trials of starting a church. I guess I needed to get it off my chest.

Addendum 9/9/09: After reading over this post, I realize that the end sounds kind of complain-y. I wasn't trying to complain. We are very blessed! We have been called to start Renaissance Road and feel priviledged that God has entrusted us with this responsibility. My goal in documenting how I feel was simply to have a record of this place in our lives. I know that it won't always be like this, and I want to be able to look back and remember how it all began. I want Jackson and Selah to know what our family went through (what they survived!) starting this church!

When I Grow Up I Wanna Be A...

Sometimes I look at my kids and I wonder what they're going to be when they grow up. Right now, they're full of such potential - they're blank slates. As the years pass they will learn new things, be influenced by friends, teachers, and role models, have successes and failures which will all shape who they become. Also, God has placed unique gifts, like little neatly wrapped presents, inside each one of them that will be revealed as they mature.

Every night before Jason and I go to bed we go in their rooms and check on them. As I watch them sleeping I pray for them and their futures. And then I wonder...

Will Jackson become a world famous chef? Jackson is full of culinary creativity. Tonight he was having a sandwich for supper and wanted Jason to mix together mustard and ranch dressing as his spread. Jason said that it was actually pretty good, and he wants to market it as "rustard". We'll keep you updated on the product development. Here he is cooking pancakes at the beach:and making a birthday cake for daddy:

Of course if you asked him what he wants to be when he grows up, he would probably tell you "a superhero-secret-spy-astronaut, and I'm going to save the Earth from an asteroid". He does make a great superhero. He pretends to be one all the time. He loves helping Selah and saving her from impending dangers, and he also loves "fighting the bad guys."

Here you can see that he has fashioned a computer eye patch (similar to the bionic woman) to help him in his secret spy work.

He would probably be just as happy to be a comedian, because he loves being silly and making people laugh. Case in point:

One Sunday he asked Jason to give him "crazy hair." Jason gladly obliged his request and spiked his hair (probably having a little bit of a father moment that his son wanted to be like him...sniff, sniff). When he got home from church he was so sad. When we asked him why he was upset he said it was because no one had laughed at his hair. Everyone thought it was cool, and he wanted it to be funny. I then told him that I didn't think it was cool; I thought it was very funny and crazy.

Selah, on the other hand, is a different case. She's still so little, it's hard to tell what she has an affinity for yet. Here are my best guesses:

She could be a singer. She loves music and will definitely "sing along" when I'm singing.

I can also see her being a great book critic, combining two of her loves: books and being cranky and hard to please.

Right now, though, she's focusing her energies on becoming a consumer product safety tester, especially in the division of product durability when dropped from various heights on various surfaces. One of her favorite pass times is playing what Jackson calls "the gravity game" (what happens when I drop this object?) Her favorite version of this game is dropping her sippy cup from high-chair height. However, she also loves to dump crayons out of the box from seated-on-the-floor height, and just today pulled a whole shelf of CDs into the floor of our local Christian bookstore from pulled-to-standing height. It's a career that involves a lot of research, but she's willing to do what it takes!

Who knows what they will become? My prayer for them is that, no matter what career they choose, they will be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled people who have a personal relationship with God and visit their mother often!

The TV Pass

Lately, life has been happening too fast for me to blog about! Since it has been almost a month since my last entry, I decided to ease myself back into the blogging pool with a small entry rather than diving into the deep end trying to document everything we've done in the last month. So, here goes!

I think I've mentioned before that Jackson has a bit of an affinity for watching TV. That's putting it way too mildly! I really don't exactly know how we got from my staunch position of "kids should not watch very much TV at all; it only leads to attention deficit disorder" to my lackadaisical daily offer of "Jackson, do you want to watch TV while I do xyz?" When Jackson was born everyone raved about the Baby Einstein DVDs that were supposed to make your kid do something ridiculous like do geometry at the tender age of 9 months. I was vehemently opposed to such garbage citing research about PET scans of kids' brains while watching these supposedly educational DVDs showing brain activity only in the visual reception areas. You get my point. I certainly didn't want my kid to be a TV junkie. Yet here we are. It's been a slippery slope with Selah's birth and us starting a church (and having a lot of meetings at night) certainly being two major contributing factors. Jackson could watch TV all day long if I let him. I don't let him, but I do allow way more TV than I ever thought I would. I have been guilt ridden about it lately and have been wanting to make a change, but honestly I think I'm just as addicted to him watching TV as he is!

I don't mind Jackson watching a little TV, but recently he has been using TV as a first resort when he's bored or when I'm not available to play with him. As soon as I go to put Selah down for a nap or cook supper, the TV comes on (yes, he knows how to turn on the TV and change the channel to three different cartoon stations by himself). I want him to be able to play independently. Enter....THE TV PASS.

Now I know I'm not the first mom to think of this idea, but I decided I wanted to limit Jackson's TV watching and computer playtime, yet give him ownership in his decisions and budgeting of his time. I took some paint color sample cards and wrote "TV" and "computer" on them with a silver sharpie. Then I glued the cards to some clothespins (or as Jackson says "nosepins"). I clipped the cards to a door hanger that we had leftover from a dismantled craft, and voila!...we have TV passes. He can watch 3 shows per day and have one 30-minute playtime on the computer. He gets to choose what to watch (within reason) and when to watch. I try not to judge his decisions, but occasionally I will offer a little guidance like, "OK, Jackson, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse has gone off. Do you want to use another TV pass to watch the next show or do you want to save it to watch Scooby Doo tonight?" When he's used a pass, I just turn it over. So far, it has worked beautifully! It has taken my emotions out of the equation. I don't feel like a good or bad mom when I let him or don't let him watch TV, because the decisions are his. He has not complained one time about not having enough passes or not getting to watch TV. I am very proud of him, and, to be honest, I'm proud of myself, too. We're getting back on track, and it feels good!