Today, Selah and I went to the grocery store. She got fussy about half-way through, so I gave her a bag of pecans (unopened) to chew on to keep her busy. Naturally, she got bored with it two minutes later and the bag (thankfully) ended up in the cart. I didn't even notice, because she was fairly happy for the rest of the shopping trip. When we got to the checkout I noticed the cashier struggling to straighten out the crumpled bag to scan the barcode. Once it scanned she wiped her hands on her Harris Teeter uniform. Immediately my mind flew to the image of my sweet one with the bag in her mouth. I decided to 'fess up. Here was our conversation:
Me: "Oooo, I'm so sorry. I should have wiped that off."
Her (a little puzzled): "Yeah, it had something wet on it."
Me (apologetically): "Hmmm. Maybe I shouldn't tell you what it was. I don't know if you would want to know or not, but I was letting my daughter chew on that to keep her happy."
Her (trying to hide that she's grossed out): "Oh (nervous laughter). Yeah, it was a little slimy like the stuff that's sometimes on the outside of a package of chicken."
Me (relieved): "Oh, well there you go! At least it wasn't as gross as raw chicken juice on your hands!" I could tell she was actually trying to weigh which would be more gross: raw chicken liquid or baby's spit.
Her (imagining herself in a few years, and wondering if she really wanted kids) "Wow, I can't wait to have a baby and have its spit on me."
I coudn't help but laugh when I left the grocery store. Not at her, at me. How far I've come from the time I was in her shoes. The time that I thought baby spit was gross. I remember an article that I read when Jackson was a baby (and I had the time and inclination to read parenting articles for fun) in which a mom was talking about her transition from being a total germaphobe to casually, almost absently-mindedly saying to her kids, "Will you please stop licking the cat?" It's so true! I think when you give birth (and I do count c-sections as "giving birth") a lot of things change. One of those things is your gross-o-meter gets shifted. I always wondered how my mom could do stuff like clean up my puke off our van's dashboard when I got carsick. Now I know the secret: she had no choice! What was she going to do? Leave it there until it dried up and blew away? When something gross happens (I find a booger wiped in an odd place or a streak of poop on the tub from where Jackson didn't wipe well enough and then leaned against the tub while pulling up his underwear), I usually just shrug and get to cleaning. There's no use in making a big fuss for no one but God to see. Just bite the bullet and move on. I still don't look forward to Selah smearing her slobbery hand all over my face, but it takes a lot to really repulse me. I love my kids, and everything that goes with them!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Remnants of My Weekend
This morning when I walked into my kitchen I thought, "What a mess." Not just the kitchen, but the whole house. As I scanned the clutter, though, I couldn't help but see it as a sign of a great weekend. (Actually this is probably just my way of justifying the mess!) There were little reminders of our holiday weekend left here and there perhaps to ease the pain of getting back to the grind. I have joked about stay-at-home moms not getting holidays, and in a lot of ways a holiday like Labor Day just seems like another day to me. But the one difference is Jason doesn't have to work. It's rare for us all to spend the day together, even on weekends, so having him home for 4 days was a very special treat!
Back to the clutter....the first thing I saw on the kitchen counter was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figurine (Raphael to be specific). On Thursday night, Jason took Jackson to see the TMNT movie. Yes, the OLD one. A group of people were showing it in a theater in Greensboro, and a colleague of Jason's had given him tickets. Jackson had a great time, and even got to meet Raphael! Since then he has been wanting me to pretend to be all the TMNT characters (sometimes all at the same time) all weekend.
Laying next to Raphael were Jackson's goggles. Yesterday, we made one last trip to the swimming pool for the summer. The mild temperatures made being outside very comfortable....unless you wanted to swim! We were all kind of chilly in the outdoor pool, and finally after about 20 minutes decided to pool hop over to the heated indoor pool. I can't believe the strides Jackson has made towards swimming this summer. Next summer I think he will really be a good swimmer! It also surprises me how Selah loves the water. She is not afraid of getting water in her face, and loves to splash. Yesterday, she was even blowing bubbles in the water. It was so cute!
In the living room I stepped over a piece of construction paper with a list of names. Jackson's friend Jadyn, who just started kindergarten, was playing teacher on Sunday and writing everyone's name on the paper. After church several of our good friends came to hang out and have lunch while "the boys," including Jason, played basketball. I think there were 6 adults and 6 kids! It was really fun to hang out on a Sunday afternoon like the old days. Jadyn, Jentezen, and Jackson played so well together, even without naps!
When we got in the car to take Jackson to school, there was more clutter! Among sandals, toys, and reusable grocery bags, I spotted Jackson's soccer ball in the backseat. Last night Jason took Jackson and Selah to Jackson's soccer practice while I was teaching bible study. Jackson started soccer last week, and so far is liking it! I got to take him to his first practice on a Saturday, and I was amazed at how well he did! Much better than tee ball! I guess this game doesn't take quite as much focus (at least at the 4-year-old level) as tee ball. There's not as much down time, which is very good for little ones that are so easily distracted. I don't get to go to his practices on Monday nights, so I'm eagerly awaiting this weekend when his Saturday morning games begin.
Wait a minute...did I say school? Yes, Jackson started pre-K for real today. Last Tuesday he went for one day, but today he started full-time. So far, I think he's doing okay. There haven't been any tears about going to school, but I can tell he's not thrilled about the idea. When I picked him up after his first day he told me, "Mom, I was getting nervouser and nervouser and I really wanted my Mommy." But the part that broke my heart is that he didn't tell his teacher or any of his classmates that he was scared. It is so painful watching your 4-year-old try to be a "big boy". My natural instinct is to protect him from all pain and discomfort - shield him from stress. But in order for him to grow up I have to let him experience a certain amount of discomfort. This feels like having my heart ripped out of my chest. I had this same feeling when he got 3 shots this year at his 4-year-old checkup. He didn't cry at all, even though I could tell he wanted to. By his report he was "so brave." I was so proud of him for being brave, but it would have been a lot easier on me if he had just cried. I wanted to comfort him; that's my job! To know that he was nervous, scared, or uncomfortable at school but he wouldn't let anyone know so they could comfort him was just heartbreaking for me. In fact, after I had drilled him and asked him three thousand questions about his day, I came to the conclusion that he was pretty lonely all day. I just wanted to cry. Good thing we didn't have to go back for a week. Today when I walked him in, I introduced him to a kid that was in his 2-year-old class at daycare. (I had remembered the child, but Jackson didn't, since they were not in the same 3-year-old class.) I told him that maybe they could play together and be friends today. When I picked him up today he seems more excited and happy about his day. He's still not thrilled about having to go back tomorrow, but I think we're on the right track. I really think that if he can make some friends (and he will in time, I know), he will like school. Right now, I'm just taking it day by day. I'm questioning whether this pre-K thing was the right decision or not. Only time will tell.
As always, this weekend, there was plenty of church stuff going on. Even though Jason took Friday off, he spent all afternoon filming videos for church. Saturday morning he went to the men's networking breakfast and then went to move everything off our church's moving truck into a storage building since we sold the truck. He came home for lunch, and after lunch we went to clean the church, kids in tow. I am very happy to report that we got through the cleaning without Selah ingesting any poisonous cleaning solutions or getting electrocuted by chewing through the vacuum cord! Also, Jackson did not break anything in the auditorium on stage while playing out his TMNT scene! Starting a church when you have young children is really hard! Our kids are really troopers to endure all the stuff that goes along with it! I already said that Monday night I was teaching bible study while Jason took both kids to soccer. Tonight, Jason came home just long enough to eat supper and then he was off to his weekly creative team meeting. He left that meeting and went to HPU's Campus Crusade for Christ meeting. He got home at 10pm. Tomorrow night, I have band practice, so he'll be here with the kids. Is there any wonder why our yard is never mowed? I really don't think people get it. I don't think most people understand the amount of work that goes into starting a church. I haven't even mentioned the time Jason spends on writing sermons, preparing to speak, tweaking the church budget, counseling with people on the phone...the list goes on and on! All of this on top of his full-time job. This is why our family time together is so precious.
I didn't mean to make this entry so long, but I really wanted to document our weekend as well as some of the trials of starting a church. I guess I needed to get it off my chest.
Addendum 9/9/09: After reading over this post, I realize that the end sounds kind of complain-y. I wasn't trying to complain. We are very blessed! We have been called to start Renaissance Road and feel priviledged that God has entrusted us with this responsibility. My goal in documenting how I feel was simply to have a record of this place in our lives. I know that it won't always be like this, and I want to be able to look back and remember how it all began. I want Jackson and Selah to know what our family went through (what they survived!) starting this church!
Back to the clutter....the first thing I saw on the kitchen counter was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figurine (Raphael to be specific). On Thursday night, Jason took Jackson to see the TMNT movie. Yes, the OLD one. A group of people were showing it in a theater in Greensboro, and a colleague of Jason's had given him tickets. Jackson had a great time, and even got to meet Raphael! Since then he has been wanting me to pretend to be all the TMNT characters (sometimes all at the same time) all weekend.
Laying next to Raphael were Jackson's goggles. Yesterday, we made one last trip to the swimming pool for the summer. The mild temperatures made being outside very comfortable....unless you wanted to swim! We were all kind of chilly in the outdoor pool, and finally after about 20 minutes decided to pool hop over to the heated indoor pool. I can't believe the strides Jackson has made towards swimming this summer. Next summer I think he will really be a good swimmer! It also surprises me how Selah loves the water. She is not afraid of getting water in her face, and loves to splash. Yesterday, she was even blowing bubbles in the water. It was so cute!
In the living room I stepped over a piece of construction paper with a list of names. Jackson's friend Jadyn, who just started kindergarten, was playing teacher on Sunday and writing everyone's name on the paper. After church several of our good friends came to hang out and have lunch while "the boys," including Jason, played basketball. I think there were 6 adults and 6 kids! It was really fun to hang out on a Sunday afternoon like the old days. Jadyn, Jentezen, and Jackson played so well together, even without naps!
When we got in the car to take Jackson to school, there was more clutter! Among sandals, toys, and reusable grocery bags, I spotted Jackson's soccer ball in the backseat. Last night Jason took Jackson and Selah to Jackson's soccer practice while I was teaching bible study. Jackson started soccer last week, and so far is liking it! I got to take him to his first practice on a Saturday, and I was amazed at how well he did! Much better than tee ball! I guess this game doesn't take quite as much focus (at least at the 4-year-old level) as tee ball. There's not as much down time, which is very good for little ones that are so easily distracted. I don't get to go to his practices on Monday nights, so I'm eagerly awaiting this weekend when his Saturday morning games begin.
Wait a minute...did I say school? Yes, Jackson started pre-K for real today. Last Tuesday he went for one day, but today he started full-time. So far, I think he's doing okay. There haven't been any tears about going to school, but I can tell he's not thrilled about the idea. When I picked him up after his first day he told me, "Mom, I was getting nervouser and nervouser and I really wanted my Mommy." But the part that broke my heart is that he didn't tell his teacher or any of his classmates that he was scared. It is so painful watching your 4-year-old try to be a "big boy". My natural instinct is to protect him from all pain and discomfort - shield him from stress. But in order for him to grow up I have to let him experience a certain amount of discomfort. This feels like having my heart ripped out of my chest. I had this same feeling when he got 3 shots this year at his 4-year-old checkup. He didn't cry at all, even though I could tell he wanted to. By his report he was "so brave." I was so proud of him for being brave, but it would have been a lot easier on me if he had just cried. I wanted to comfort him; that's my job! To know that he was nervous, scared, or uncomfortable at school but he wouldn't let anyone know so they could comfort him was just heartbreaking for me. In fact, after I had drilled him and asked him three thousand questions about his day, I came to the conclusion that he was pretty lonely all day. I just wanted to cry. Good thing we didn't have to go back for a week. Today when I walked him in, I introduced him to a kid that was in his 2-year-old class at daycare. (I had remembered the child, but Jackson didn't, since they were not in the same 3-year-old class.) I told him that maybe they could play together and be friends today. When I picked him up today he seems more excited and happy about his day. He's still not thrilled about having to go back tomorrow, but I think we're on the right track. I really think that if he can make some friends (and he will in time, I know), he will like school. Right now, I'm just taking it day by day. I'm questioning whether this pre-K thing was the right decision or not. Only time will tell.
As always, this weekend, there was plenty of church stuff going on. Even though Jason took Friday off, he spent all afternoon filming videos for church. Saturday morning he went to the men's networking breakfast and then went to move everything off our church's moving truck into a storage building since we sold the truck. He came home for lunch, and after lunch we went to clean the church, kids in tow. I am very happy to report that we got through the cleaning without Selah ingesting any poisonous cleaning solutions or getting electrocuted by chewing through the vacuum cord! Also, Jackson did not break anything in the auditorium on stage while playing out his TMNT scene! Starting a church when you have young children is really hard! Our kids are really troopers to endure all the stuff that goes along with it! I already said that Monday night I was teaching bible study while Jason took both kids to soccer. Tonight, Jason came home just long enough to eat supper and then he was off to his weekly creative team meeting. He left that meeting and went to HPU's Campus Crusade for Christ meeting. He got home at 10pm. Tomorrow night, I have band practice, so he'll be here with the kids. Is there any wonder why our yard is never mowed? I really don't think people get it. I don't think most people understand the amount of work that goes into starting a church. I haven't even mentioned the time Jason spends on writing sermons, preparing to speak, tweaking the church budget, counseling with people on the phone...the list goes on and on! All of this on top of his full-time job. This is why our family time together is so precious.
I didn't mean to make this entry so long, but I really wanted to document our weekend as well as some of the trials of starting a church. I guess I needed to get it off my chest.
Addendum 9/9/09: After reading over this post, I realize that the end sounds kind of complain-y. I wasn't trying to complain. We are very blessed! We have been called to start Renaissance Road and feel priviledged that God has entrusted us with this responsibility. My goal in documenting how I feel was simply to have a record of this place in our lives. I know that it won't always be like this, and I want to be able to look back and remember how it all began. I want Jackson and Selah to know what our family went through (what they survived!) starting this church!
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